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Joined on: August 11, 2016
User's Score: 659
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I can't get that song out of my head now !! Thanks lol
All I Want For Christmas Is...to tell you MY Christmas story. (inspired from famous Christmas movie quotes (underlined) and originally written by me)
It all started when “I passed through the seven levels of the Candy Cane forest, through the sea of swirly twirly gum drops, and then I walked through the Lincoln Tunnel.” After walking for quite some time in the dark, I ran into weirdo number 1 standing on the corner. "There's children throwing snowballs instead of throwing heads ... They're busy building toys and absolutely no one's dead!" laughing like crazy while trying to grab at my coat. I'd come a long way to go home for Christmas, and didn’t want to waste time listening to the crazy ramblings of weirdo number 1. Buttoning my coat tighter against the chilly wind I headed to the department store for a last minute gift. The jingle of a bell rang out against the door as I pushed it open. "Every time a bell rings an angel gets his wings!"
A little red cheeked cherub of a girl exclaimed excitedly as she tugged on her mother's coat. Overly loud Christmas music piped through the speakers. Tiredly, I pushed through the throng of last minute shoppers and found what I was looking for. After waiting in the longest line in history, and without looking up, I pushed into the exit door as a body forcefully pushed past me into the store. The sudden chill down my spine didn’t come from the cold blast of winter air.
”I gotta tell you, Santa, there’s something about this place that doesn’t seem quite... Kosher.” I said to the Santa ringing his bell outside the front entrance.
I turned back and peered into the store window. Weirdo number 2 was in a ski mask and stood just yards away, pointing a large gun at a cashier. "Now I have a machine gun. Ho ho ho.” He looked up into the rafters clearly irritated. “Blast this Christmas music. It’s joyful and triumphant.” He aimed into the corner spraying bullets, the speaker exploded into smithereens, pieces flying everywhere. A moment later, several cop cars screeched into the parking lot. Within minutes, swat had weirdo number 2 in cuffs and out the door screaming right at me “It’s all HUMBUG, I tell you. HUMBUG!”
Relieved, I continued my journey home. I hadn't been back in the neighborhood in years and decided to stop and get a drink, God knows I needed one. Jukebox music and happy chatter filled the cozy bar. “Riggs, if you think I’m gonna eat the world’s lousiest Christmas turkey by myself, you’re crazy!" The bartender yelled across the room. A skinny kid wiping down tables shooed him away with a wave. I set my package down on the bar and ordered a drink. The guy next to me nodded towards the box. "Aaah! "Fra-GEE-leh!" It must be Italian!" I just nodded back and took a long drink. He'd had more than one tonight. The skinny kid hopped behind the bar and started working. Hey Riggs, How come you're not freezing like everyone else here? The bartender questioned. “I’m from the south side of the north pole man.” He grinned like the Cheshire cat. Ya see, he continued “When the thermometer gets all reddish, the temperature goes up. And when the temperature goes up, I start to melt! And when I start to melt, I get all wishy-washy." Riggs snapped his dish towel at the bartender laughing.
Feeling more relaxed, I motioned for a refill. The bartender filled my glass. "On your way home then? Haven't been back in years huh?" I looked back at him perplexed. "Oh sure kid, I remember you. The only sane banana in the bunch. Well, you and your old man. Your mother, God rest her soul, t'was a blessing she got to see you leave, knowin' you'd escaped that crazy family of yours." I raised my glass. "Well, if I'm going to do this," I said, "I'm going to need at least one more round." The guy next to me piped up, words slurred. “Folks, my firm’s done a tremendous amount of marketing research and we’ve discovered two critical things, one; most Americans feel that Christmas is a time for family. Two; most Americans feel that in order to stand being around their family, for even one or two days, they need to swill as much alcohol as humanly possible.” He then belched loudly and fell off the bar stool. I nodded in agreement, laid some bills on the bar, picking up my package on my way out the door. It didn't take long for my feet to find the familiar road home. I stopped to take in the Christmas lights and found myself staring at the house next door. " Only one thing in the world could've dragged me away from the soft glow of electric sex gleaming in the window." "Wheeeeeeee!" My uncle Herman hollered as he whizzed by me sliding down the snowy hillside on a giant cookie sheet in nothing but his bathrobe, and I mean nothing. "Oh Herman get back here! You can play in the snow tomorrow!" Aunt Clara yelled from the porch. "Oh sweetie it's so cold out here, here's your Christmas present early." She proceeded to put a pair of pink glittery earmuffs on my head and over my ears. "Aunt Clara had, for years, labored under the delusion that I was not only perpetually four years old, but also a girl." I climbed up the steps and into the house to the living room. My dad sat comfortably on the couch sipping a beer watching TV. "Hey dad, Merry Christmas". "Merry Christmas Kiddo! You're just in time. "First we’ll make snow angels for two hours, then we’ll go ice skating, then we’ll eat a whole roll of Tollhouse Cookie-dough as fast as we can, and then we’ll snuggle." He winked. "At least that’s what uncle Herman has planned." I handed him his gift. "No tree this year huh dad?" "Well, your cousins were supposed to bring one by but they never showed up." I smirked. "Weirdo 1 and weirdo 2? Yeah, I have a feeling you're never gonna see that tree. I've got it on good authority they're not gonna make it for turkey." "Well, that's just fine with me, I'm skipping Christmas this year." "You’re skipping Christmas! Isn’t that against the law?" I laughed. Dad looked thoughtful. “You say you hate Washington’s Birthday or Thanksgiving and nobody cares, but you say you hate Christmas and people treat you like you’re a leper.” Well, I'll open this fine bottle first, and THEN I'll skip Christmas." He pulled the wine bottle from its miniature crate I had been carrying around for the last couple of hours and admired it. The glow of red and blue lights filled the living room flashing through the window followed by the woop! woop! of a siren. "Looks like they finally caught up with uncle Herman" "Do you believe they'll ever find a way to keep that man locked up in the old folks home and on his meds? Clara too?" "Well pops, they say "Seeing is believing, but sometimes the most real things in the world are the things we can’t see." "Crazy. You can't see crazy, dad." Dad chuckled. "Ain't it the truth." The sounds of dogs barking and the clang of trash cans filled the alley next door. "Dad, did you forget to lock up the dogs?" He simply grinned, turned the TV volume up, and poured a glass of wine for each of us as the next door neighbors screamed loudly, "Sons of b***ches! Bumpuses! "
Jennifer Richards 12-4-2016
amen brother. amen.
All I want for Christmas is an axon 7 to replace my mom's old water damaged iphone 6. I'm happy with my axon 7 mini, but would be happier to see my mother with an axon 7
What I want for Christmas is:............. (Everybody Please Sing Along!!!!)
12 - More Z- Community Members Added
11 - TPU Clear Coat Cases
10 - Bluetooth Remote Control for ZTE SPRO 2
9 - ZTE Leather Cases
8 - AT&T Velocity Hotspots
7 - ZTE 4G LTE Routers with voice
6 - ZTE Grand X Max's
5 - AT&T Trek 2 HD's
4 - ZTE ZPAD Tablet's
3 - Axon Mini's
2 - Axon 7's (6GB RAM 128GB)
1 - AAAAAnnnnndddd an ZTE SPRO 2 (or SPRO 3)
All i want for christmas is the new ZTE flagship SIGNUM! And an universal tool for install any ROM on my devices so i will save more time for eat nougat !!!
Being selfish, all I want for Christmas is we all get our Christmas wish fulfilled and the world will be a better place.
Now, that's SERIOUSLY creative. Great job.
This is awesome!
Nice im still singing!
I too would like to have SPro Projector, but my eyes are on the new one SPRO Plus lol!
All I want for Christmas is stock-like Android on the Axon 7
All I want for Christmas is 4 tickets to see the Volbeat concert in Berlin on August 24th 2017!
LET'S GET READY TO RUMBLE!
All i want for Christmas is to figure out my phone
All I Want For Christmas Is to win a trip to Las Vegas to party with ZTE and CES!
you are in the right place for assistance with that. Our is always here to help if you ever have any questions or need any help. Please feel free to reach out if you need any help
Welcome to the best community on Earth, the Z-Community
Thanks tech , that sure beats my old way of fixing them , lol throw it into a wall and get a new one
We are all here to help! Please don't hesitate to reach out to the Mod Squad with anything you need, especially she is always here and willing to help out
All I want for Christmas is a life time supply of crispy M & M s
I think I see a spike in ZTE sales ! I stop just short of throwing it into a wall myself
lol Ironbaybeedoll is kinda tough on me cause im not a tech person lol
says the guy typing in a tech forum..... Glad you are here and part of Z-Community
Fair warning! Paws off my purr-esents! lol
Thanks , good to meet everybody
All I want for christmas is to daydream away and I really hope that the leap motion sensor will become daydream compatible.
And it would be really nice to better get to know all of you.
All I want for Christmas is my dying wife to recover from her illnesses.
Sorry to hear about your wife , good luck and i hope it works out for you
My prayers are with you and your family.
Prayers are with you.